So Long 2011....

So here we are, on the eve of a brand new year and I can't help but reflect back on the past 12 months with a combination of resentment and joy.

It's easy to look at the bad in life and proceed to have a pity party for yourself. But I have to admit that we really did have more good in our lives this year than bad and I realize now more than ever that I have to be grateful for that. 2010 was an awful year filled with more heartbreak than one person should have to deal with. We lost my husband's grandfather, our baby and then had both my MIL and Step-Father diagnosed with cancer. After dealing with so much in such a short period of time anything had to be better.

But 2011 brought a new life, so to speak. Both my MIL and Step-Father are in remission, I graduated with my Associates Degree and got into Binghamton University, I got a new job that I absolutely LOVE and has given me the option of meeting some amazing new people. And most importantly I got to spend another 12 months with this amazing man.

So should I really dwell on the only black cloud to cover us this year? So we were not able to get pregnant. It sucks! I've been mad, sad, angry and it's achieved nothing but making me feel worse about myself. This year has been hard on the fertility front, the hardest I've experienced yet! But I have to move on from that, I have no choice but to.

I can't help but wonder what exactly 2012 will prove to bring for us. Will we finally get our family? Will we learn to better appriciate the things we do have in life? Who knows but hopefully this time next year I will be getting to reflect on a whole different set of firsts.